Bother

I remember that night. I remember it well. I put my hand on your face for one last time as you turned away, tears blurring both of our eyes.
He's helped me get over you and all those times i cried have gone out of my mind.
i can't pretend that it's perfect.
i'm scared things'll go wrong and that it'll fuck up where i'm living.
I'm scared of losing my friends.
i'm scared i wont find a job.

i miss you when you're not there, it's scary how much, for saying we aren't official and it's not been long. i was lonely before you but i'm not holding on just for that. i'm holding on because it's you, and you make me smile and laugh and you make me feel like i've got a reason. when i'm with you i forget it all, the way i was alone and i missed all the people who treated me worst.

i missed that feeling the most. lying there in someone's arms, the way the world just melts away and nothing else matters. i just.... i don't know. i just wish.