I said I wouldn't forgive him but I did. He's forgiven but what he did isn't forgotten, the sooner I leave the better as far as he is concerned.
He hurt me and upset me a lot on Monday night, so much so that I really can't go into details. I don't want to live in a house with someone who can be live he was. At least it's changed the way I feel about him.
Not alot's happening at the moment really, It's just the usual thing of waking up every morning, stressing until the post man arrives, never getting the mail I want and just stumbling through life hoping for something to be different today.
I think a lot about my past, I've just found my 'babys first years' book at my mums house that i never knew existed. I dont know a lot about my childhood and it confuses me greatly, the few memories i have are crystal clear. Littlest things take me back. I want to know everything though. All i know is that my dad had his accident when I was 5 weeks old, my mum lost the love of her life (he's a different man now) and sometime between then and when i was 4, they divorced. I know where we lived once she'd left him but not when we left. I know that most of my dad's family hate her for leaving him, but I know that if she's stayed she would have left eventually and i'm glad she left then, rather than later on. It confuses me and upsets me sometimes but I suppose I'm used to not knowing now.