The truth of the matter? I've never felt as well as I do now. I'm happy and healthy, I've got the man (well, kind of - I'm happy with the way things are now) and the job. I've got my house sorted out.
I'm happy.
I went to go and see my old floating support worker this morning. I stayed at W's last night and her office was close by. She reminded me of a lot of things that happened when I was here, unemployed and nearly homeless. She reminded me of the way that I used to walk and talk, my clothes and hair, even the way that I smiled. She told me, You've changed and it's all for the better. She said, I'm so pleased for you, You've turned your life around.
And I have, haven't I?
Me and W spent a lot of time talking last night. I was so good just to be able to talk about the things that have happened to us over the last few years.
About why he was living on the streets (long story), the worst things about it (three am is when it gets cold), moving around the country, and now that he's sorted himself out. How he wants a big family and he's not going to make the same mistakes that were made by his father.
About my abortion (how I wake up every day and wish I'd never done it, but then realise that if I'd had the baby I wouldn't be where I am today), how I'm scared that if I move in to the pub I wont be able to see him as often (he said, Of course I'll come to see you. I smiled.), about my hopes and dreams (they're constantly changing).
How we're both so happy things have turned out the way they have.
3 comments:
I think everything happens for a reason, and what happens in our past makes us who we are today. You can't fully appreciate where you are today without appreciating and understanding what came before. You sound happy and settled, I'm so pleased for you hon xx
I demand an update! Have you moved in yet?! x
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