disjointed.

He came back in to my life with sweet nothings falling from his lips and false promises dropping like bombs, shattering the peace of mind that took weeks and months to recover.
I told him; no uncertain terms. stay away. stay out. stay silent.
never say my name. don't call, don't text, don't write.

maybe we both walked away from each other. that's what he says.
it ended for a reason, i know that much.

the blame has ended. i know that what is done is done.



england's making me crazier by the day. sensationalist news. swine flu. guns, knives and violence. recession.
I miss home. it calls to me, getting stronger every day.

£400. March. Home, here I come....

nothing's planned yet. all i know. is that i need this more than anything. i think about this every few weeks, and put it off every time, what if it's the wrong decision, what if i dont enjoy it, what if, what if? I need to do this for me, for my family, it's long overdue.
leaving my friends and my family and the life i've built over here scares me silly. i'm not the person who ever got homesick or who struggled making friends. so why do those things scare me now?


this man knocked my confidence, so much that it took nearly a year for me to speak about what had happened.

I'm back.