Sleeping beauty.

And so I ask myself, does it all have to be official?? do you actually have to say, yes we are together?
does there have to be affection every time we're together? cause that's not what i want... he's more of a friend than anything else and that's the way i like it.
he's helping me through hard times, shit moods and difficult nights, he's showing me how to smile again, and he's showing me how to feel happiness that i haven't felt for a long time. i can feel the corners of my mouth curl upwards into the smallest of smiles, like a long forgotten memory, a whisper of the beauty that lies in my life. All because of him, the thought of him.
And i missed you more than i thought, and he helped me over it, he helped me to remember how to forget someone who had been such a huge part of my life.
I'm searching for jobs constantly and i can't sleep at night, but it comforts me feeling his warm skin on mine, holding me close, breathing as one. My mind's overloaded and the only thing that helps me is a bottle of wine and being held close. is that such a bad thing?
Remember, remember when? That was us and now it's me and him and i'm all the better for it.
I asked for no more heartache and that's what's happened for once. how long can this last for me? a lot longer i hope.