Alone? Not any more.

i'm been doing a lot of that 'finding myself' crap over the last couple of days/week. it's not his fault i feel like this, and it makes me sad that people tell me that he's the one that's done wrong. he doesn't know how i feel. he never promised anything more then being a friend and the occasional 'benefits'.
i can learn to like it like this. when i first started spending time with him, i was ill and he held me close. stroked me hair and made me cups of tea. made me feel a bit better. the next day i was ill in bed. i couldn't work, i could barely speak, i was so weak i could barely get out of bed. he called me when he was at work, asked me if there was anything i needed him to get for me. he came home from work and came and sat with me, bought me a cup of tea and when he was sat there, he looked me in the eyes and said 'it was nice last night. i missed having someone there with me'. he's a true friend. he cares.
and i'd missed someone there too. it's lonely living in a shared house, when you aren't friends with the other people. before him, i could have spent weeks seeing no-one outside of work.
see... at least me and him have that friendship. i don't get lonely at night, because i'm not alone. and that's why i'm not ending it physically. but i've ended it emotionally. i know i can't feel anything else for him. and it'll take time, but i'll get over it, and we'll be able to just be friends.
he's a good friend. better than most. he's helped me with a lot of shit over the last few months.
so please don't tell me to 'get away'?
because i don't want to.

"If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
There's too many places I haven't seen
And if I stayed here with you, now
Things just wouldn't be the same
Well I'm as free as a bird now,
And a bird you can not change.
And a bird you can not change.
And a bird you can not change.
Lord knows I can't change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
And though this feeling I can't change.
Please don't take it so badly,
Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.
And, if I stayed here with you now
Things just wouldn't be the same.
For I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And the bird you can not change.
And the bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change."
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird