have you ever fallen for someone so hard, that it hurts you to think of them? Well that's what i'm likewith him. And in a single sentence, he managed to kill all my hopes and showed me that all my fears were real and true.
i want out, but i want to hold on and never let go.
"You know i don't want anything serious, I haven't for a long time. But we'll have to stop when you find someone else anyway."
just like that, all my illusons of security disappeared. What if, what if?? What if i'm not looking for anyone else, because i want him?
I lay there next to him and i couldn't let go. it's as if i had to hold on to stop myself from falling. i lay there as he fell asleep, and cried and cried. silent tears rolled down my face and onto his chest, and he never even knew anything was wrong.
i cried for me and him, her and them, the past and the present, the future and forever, for the here and now. For how and why and what it was supposed to be for me.
So i sit here now and wonder. what do i do now, what could i have done to have made it different? did it all just happen because i was there? or does he genuinely feel something?
2 comments:
Oh honey *hug* You've done nothing wrong, sometimes things are just out of our control. Hang in there lovely xx
thanks =)
i will do, i already have a great plan for the weekend, involving lots of beer, flirting with all the boys, hating him because he'sobviously not worth it... and more beer =)
xxx
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