Mummy.

I'm at my mums for the day/night. Taking full advantage of the horlicks/broadband/hugs/healthy food. i miss healthy food.
i miss him less when i'm here. i feel like my old self when i'm here. less worries.
mum's boyfriends still not happy about me being on the scene. he never quite understood that if you go for a mother, the daughter is part of the deal. it still hurts, that i'm unwelcomed by him. i did wrong and he did too. we're both guilty and i guess it just feels like sometimes i'm the only one being punished. and my mum. she's stuck in the middle and i just feel so bad for her. she's been a real rock for me over the years, and she just gets shit for it all the time.
i drink endless cups of tea and listen to my favourite songs on repeat. What Sarah Said, Zoe Jane, How To Save A Life.
i obsess over things and analyse my life too much.
"This is how it works.
You're young until you're not,
You love until you don't,
You try until you can't,
You laugh until you cry,
You cry until you laugh,
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath."
On The Radio - Regina Spektor
What surprises me is that i've given up even caring. He walks straight past me and i don't even think twice about it anymore. I'm used to being ignored. Hell, living in my house you'd have to get used to it. There's no space for sensitive people, people who care anymore. Hard, cold, uncaring, no emotions, stone faced and silent.

i still miss him though.