I look on the myspace profiles of my old best friends and cry and cry and cry. I'm in an internet cafe and people are looking, they're staring... they're asking me if i'm alright and it's all i can do to nod my head, pay up for the time i used, and run home. i don't know what happens sometimes, i just fall apart some days. it's usually the ones that i spend alone.
the next day i'm back and i'm better.
i miss them.
i miss them more then words can say, and every time i try to get it to go back to what it was... well, it just isn't and thats the saddest thing for me.
"Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life"
The Fray - How To Save A Life
does it make me a bad person, the fact that i can't seem to hold down a good friendship when i go through bad times? is it bad that i feel so, so alone sometimes?
he's my constant. the only thing that doesn't change too much, and thank you to him for that.
and my angel, she's here through everything. and i love her for it, because she's been here for me through all the really shitty times that have come recently.
she's the one i can sit and talk while we're both off our faces, telling her exactly how i feel about him and she'll never judge me, she'll just give me the advice that i need, the words that will make me feel better.
and i know she'll be reading this. so thank you mate. :o)
the people who deserve my thanks know who they are - they're the lifesavers, the brave ones, the ones who've sat and listened to me talk shit for hours about the same thing, who've picked me up from hospitals, who've always been on the other end of the phone. even if thay don't know what to say, they've know what to do, that sometimes all i need is someone to give me a hug and a shoulder to cry on.
the best things in life are the littlest gestures. the can of beer that he hands me when he gets in, every night. the head rub thing he does when it hurts (that happens quite a lot). the little kisses, the things he says.
they're the smallest things, but they're the nicest.
i miss him.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I know how you feel, going through Facebook makes me feel sad that so many of my friendships have fallen by the wayside. I think the friends that stick by you through thick and thin are the friends that are worth keeping. It doesn't take grand gestures, just knowing they're there for you. :)
Post a Comment