Helped.

there are cracks in the ceiling and i stared at them as we talked. people were walking up and down the stairs and i was drunk. hot and upset. he lay with his head on my stomach and i stroked his hair, for my comfort not his.
we talked a lot, about things that shouldnt matter but do. i talked about LeBoy and he held my hand when i cried. i told him how i was scared that i was going to get used again and that i didnt think i'd be able to cope if i did. that i was so pissed off with what he means by 'taking it slow', that he never sees me and always makes excuses not to come over, yet still has time to go to his friends for a smoke.
he made me feel better. told me i could make the right choices and if i ever needed help, a shoulder to cry on, he'd be there. and that was when i realised that my feelings for him hadn't changed, i feel as much for him now as i did in the beginning. i fell asleep on his bed with his arms around me, holding me tight. i felt that if he ever let go it'd kill me. he's helped me a lot over the last few days, i've realised a lot of bad things about my state of mind and i've had big problems with benefits and money. he's hugged me and made endless cups of tea for me, stroked my hair to help me fall asleep and i still love him.