Tonight it hurts even more than it did before

I'm lay in bed and i've given up on getting to sleep for tonight. My mind's in overdrive and my heart's racing - anxiety often gets the better of me. I go hot and cold and i shake, i want to cry all the time and i grind my teeth. Even the good things in life can't cheer this girl up. I'm so angry. Not at him but at myself for letting him break me. It hurts, just under my breastbone and there's a lump in my throat that grazes every time i speak, with every breath i take. I hate to admit it, but i miss him.