If the stars had a sound, it'd sound like this.

"Now that shes back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that theres time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey...

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"
Train- Drops of Jupiter

And do you miss me?
we barely ever talk, and that's not just one persons fault.
i dont make the effort because the thought of being rejected by you scares the hell out of me. i miss you ever day, every hour.
i can't believe the way you make me feel so good.
with one little word you had my pulse racing and made me feel like i had a reason.
you were special to me.
the way your arms held me tight, that meant a lot. perhaps more than it should have done. the experiences i had with you. you made me smile, laugh, cry, all within 24 hours.
i've never felt like this before and it's all your fault. but i can't blame you, its my fault that i feel like this.
i uncovered my soul to you... i didn't know if i should trust you but i knew inside that i could. that's definitely a first. i've never let anyone in like i did for you that night.
i still had butterflies when i got in bed that night and dreamed sweet dreams of you. but the dreams, they weren't dreams... that were just what had happened that night. and my favourite part? that was you.

you know, just now my mum mentioned that she thinks i need to 'talk to someone', that i have 'anger issues' and she was reeling off all kinds of bullshit.
my best friend told me once that i 'need' counselling.
are they right?
i don't know anymore, i really don't.
but, you know the first thing i thought of when she told me that?
him.
that whenever i'm with him i'm so bloody happy and then whenever we're apart (most of the fucking time) i'm so depressed.
i'm so sick of arguments. it's ever day, we argue about shit, and they spiral out of control until it's fucking impossible to apologise.
i can't deal with being judged by her boyfriend anymore.
this morning, i'm walking up the stairs, post another argument with my mum. he's walking down the stairs.
"so, is it going to be one of those days then?"
the fat obnoxious bastard judges everything i say, but when it comes to him and his daughter, she can do no wrong and you can't comment on his parenting skills - if you do, he might just walk out for days, like he did last time, the day before christmas eve.
perhaps i maybe need to go back on the anti depressants.
x