LeBoy.

It hurt and it didn't. LeBoy came over finally, when he told me he was on his was i was in the state of mind where i though "yeah, like i believe that" and five minutes later he was on my doorstep. it hurt that it wasn't him but yet it was so good because of that. the fact that i'm moving on with my life and not hanging on to the past that was never going to happen. i'm free now. i've slept away from him for nearly a full week and i'm so proud of that. take it one step at a time.
he was caring and we talked until way past bedtime. we were still talking at 4am. i'm tired but i don't mind, it was good and it's made me feel a lot better.
we talked about past, present, future. i told him everything. and it felt so, so good to let it all out, unwind, relax, get a smile on my face.
i've managed to get myself into a happy thought cycle this weekend and i've been more productive this morning that i have over the last few weeks.
amazing how depression works, how it gets better and worse depending on whats happening around you?
i've felt a lot better the last week because the housemate from hell hasn't been around much either. there's been no bad atmosphere and bad moods, no arriving home at 2am pissed out her mind and shouting at me.
every now and again i get a kind of shock. i realise i'm happy again. it's been too long.