Thunger and lightning, very very frightening!

There's 2 new housemates and it makes the house feel more lonely. At least if i was lonely before, it was because both the boys were out. Now it's because both of the boys are out and the new ones don't talk.
The new lad is getting me an application form for where he works, it's only production line but it's alright money and they take people on all the time so I'm told. So fingers crossed I'll have a job soon.
I sit at home and watch the world outside, listen to the rain beat down a symphony on the rooftops and windows.
He's out every night now, either he's out or I'm out and i miss him. I've sworn to myself that i'll never sleep with him again but is it too much to want to have a little company and tenderness and reassurance from someone?
The man who makes me smile is out at sea so i can't even talk to him. It'll be september before i see him. nine weeks and two days.
A look at my money situation this morning has got me into a mad panic, i owe my landlord £110 and it's going up by £5 every week, the sooner i got a job the better!
I seem to be surviving on tea and toast, i'm dreading running out of butter and teabags. I can't afford any more food and the shame of picking up another food parcel from the centre for the homeless down the road is just too much for me to bear.
Wil this rain never end? It matches me mood. Restless and down. I need to sleep at night but I can't, I'm getting used to my tablets and I'll need to increase the dosage soon. My doctor doesn't believe that I am depressed anymore, either so I may be screwed for money come this time next week.
It's all fun and games.
On a brighter note, the weekend just gone was mine and bestest mate's first without drugs for a long time and we made it.... just!!! I think we deserve a HUGE congratulations! I'm going to be sober this weekend too, so her birthday weekend shall be a rather fun affair me thinks!
Must be off anyway, have got to go to the university for english and maths tests...
and it's just thunder and lightninged outside!!! argh!
xxx