Getting by.

I'd love to say it gets easier day by day. But it doesn't.

I'd love to say I'm over you. But I'm not.

I'd love to be able to say goodbye, once and for all. But I can't.

You're still in my mind, in my heart, in my soul. Maybe you will be forever.

I take it a day at a time. I get up, I go to work, I drink cup after cup of tea, I come home, I get drunk, I think about you and I cry. I have good days and I have bad days. Every time I might have started to get better, memories come crashing down and I realise I'm at the beginning of a long, long journey.

"Sing for your lover, like blood from a stone
And sing for your lover who's waiting at home
If you sing when you're high and your dry as a bone,
Then you must realise that you're never alone
And you'll sing with the dead, instead
Said you'll sing with the dead, instead"
Placebo - Summer's gone

Music helps me through the hardest days and the hardest times. Incubus, Deftones, Jack's Mannequin, The Beatles, Oasis, Placebo, Skunk Anansie, Maximo Park... I listen, I sing, I numb myself and i try, if only for 3 minutes, to forget.

Work have been brilliant. They help me every step of the way, if i need time, they give me time, they give me shoulders to cry on and drink with me when I need oblivion.

I don't think I'd have got this far if it wasn't for my friends. I love you all.xx