Monday, 29 March 2010

No fairytale conclusion, y'all.

Me and S, we split up and I felt like my world was falling apart all over again. He'd helped me through everything and suddenly things went weird. Very very fucking weird. He'd not answer his phone, not turn up when he was meant to. And yet. Things were still very very normal when we were together.
I got sick of it, I sent him a text that simply said 'I think we should call it a day' and all I got in reply? 'I think you're right.'
I had left the new job and swapped it for full time at the pub where we both work before it was all over and working was difficult, people constantly asking how me and S were, having to explain every time that we'd split up.

And then.
He went missing. No one saw him or heard from him for a week, people were asking me if I'd seen him, I hadn't, I was too scared to call him cause I knew how I'd feel if he didn't pick up. Worried and scared for a week, he called me a week after he'd gone missing. He said, I need to talk to you, can I come to you, there's so much I need to say. Against my better judgement, I said yes, come here, explain what happened because I still don't understand?

In the time apart, not a word had been spoken between us, no desperate phone calls, nothing of the kind.

He was sober, he said he wanted to talk. I told myself I wouldn't cry: I did. We spent a week talking, we laughed, cried, slept, ate, watched films, got drunk together. The only time we spent apart was while I was at work, measly 4 hour shifts, it was like we were on holiday, drunk on each other, love-drunk.

When he disappeared.. the reason, he had been hit by a car, he was a bloody bruised mess, he lay in bed for a week, barely able to move. He said, all I wanted was for you to be there looking after me but I was too scared to make the call, too scared you'd say no. He said, when we finished I thought it was what I wanted, I'd spent so long looking for my ideal girl and you just weren't who was in my mind.. It was only when it was over I realised just how much I wanted you, needed you, there was something missing from my life when you weren't there, and that something was you. We joke that getting knocked over might have knocked some sense in to him, but it's no laughing matter.. I nearly lost him. He's back now. I'm so truly happy :)

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